Discrimination and disdain don't seem to be dead, they are simply hiding deep inside people. Like great beasts they lurk deep in some people, frustrated at the world that said "no, that isn't the right way to behave". They gnawed at the bars of their prison striving for freedom. They waited patiently for a day when people would have the freedom to say what they wanted...without fear of discovery.
I have a friend who I met through a course, she's a wonderful woman. Kind, compassionate and willing to share with others. She cares for friend and stranger alike. I've never met her in person...but I like her. Well she wrote an article for Yahoo about the recent change in the AMA (American Medical Association) and it's policy concerning obesity. Obesity....now there's a word I hate. It makes a person sound like they are a creature, a "beast" with no feelings, just a problem with weight. She put herself out there, photo and all. She bared her soul and shared her world with us. What did she get in return for her bravery? Kudos? Cheers? No. She got rude comments. Harsh words. Critical statements. Compassion seemed to be dead.
I have been struggling with weight since I was small. The reasons I am big are many, they could take an entire book to try to sort through. Doctors like to simplify things, put them into boxes with labels and then diagnose them. Being fat is just not that simple. Now I know what you are going to say "it's a matter of eating healthier and exercising more", but believe me when I say it isn't that easy. Many different factors can come into play when it comes to being fat. Genetics, medical conditions, unhealthy diet, lack of exercise due to lack of desire, injury or ailment, emotional trauma, addiction to food, other emotional issues, poverty and shaming.
Ahh I surprised you with those didn't I? I bet you thought it was less complex than that. I am not going to go into details about ALL the reasons, Google exists and you can use it to explore all the various ways people have become fat as well as some of their pain and struggles with it. My own weight is a combination of many of those factors all interwoven like a tapestry. I can't see the actual design, I can't find the individual threads, but I'm trying.
Poverty I can't do anything about at this moment. We eat...what we can afford. Previous blog posts on here have shown you just ONE example of a food bank donation. We try to make the quality of our food better but money only goes so far so quantity can sometimes suffer. When our checks get cut...ANY chance of food suffers. I do get out to walk as much as I am physically able, but a gym membership or getting as far away as the local pool are out of the question.
Shaming is another one I have experience with. Shaming involves the kind of cruel, petty, mean, hurtful and harsh words said to someone who is fat (or poor) without regard for whether or not they have feelings and can be hurt by these words. You might think that shaming will make a fat person lose weight but I can assure you the OPPOSITE is true. When you criticize, comment rudely, laugh, harass, stare at what we eat and how much and offer unwanted advice...it can make the person who is on the receiving end feel much worse. It can lead to that person wanting to go back to the old habits, or if the person is an emotional type of eater, it can make them eat to numb the pain. So what results will you have? None.
I suppose I should be angry with those who decide that being hidden behind a user name and computer screen means they have a right to voice their harsh and hateful words....but I'm not. I think that those who do it, do so because of fear. Let me explain. We all look at others and think "I would not want to be that person for anything." We also look at other people and say "Oh what I'd give to be that person". The problem is, the person we envy is our ideal, the person we would not want to be...is the thing we fear could happen to us.
You have to comment about welfare recipients being lazy because you don't want to believe that the world could be so bad, that there are not enough jobs to go around. You don't want to believe that IF you ever ended up like that you would be stuck in the same situation. You want to reassure yourself that YOU would handle things differently.
The same goes for weight. You want to believe that you could NEVER get fat...but you can. You want to believe that if that person you are insulting only "tried" they could lose weight, because you don't want to believe that you would never be able to yourself.
I hope that is the reason you'd be so cruel. I wouldn't want to believe that the world could be filled with selfish, spiteful, mean-spirited people who say things only to hurt others. I want to believe that we all are capable of thinking of our fellow travelers on this planet with love and compassion.
We fat (fabulous and talented) people don't want your pity. We don't want your advice. We also don't want to hear the latest fat joke (we've probably already heard them all). What we want...is to be accepted the way we are, whether we are losing weight, or we're skinny, or we're fat.We deserve to be treated like other human beings.
When I was younger, I was only 40 lbs overweight and I was always teased. Believe me when I say the sticks and stones may hurt for a while and bruises fade. Names ALWAYS hurt, and they remain as echos of the one(s) who hurt us. It reverberates inside of the mind never giving us a moment of freedom. We are chained to the words until we find a way to open the door and let the demons out.
So do the world a favor...DON'T be a demon. Be that voice that will echo inside the minds of others and say "I care about you, I like you for whatever reason, I don't care what you look like or how much you make. You are WONDERFUL." You'll feel better about yourself, and if someday you do have the misfortune of falling into my world, perhaps I'll be the first to extend my hand to help you stand again. I'll be the one waiting with a smile and a hug for you, telling you how wonderful you are.
