Some news to report.

Well we have YOU (Youth Opportunities Unlimited) to thank for the two new jobs that have come to our home. Both my older kids found temporary placement employment through this group. I hope it's enough to kick start them and give them some extra money to save towards their education etc.

Husband...he's still looking. It's hard to do here, especially when you aren't 20 yrs old anymore. He tries though, I'll give him credit for that. Always updating and sending resumes out and always searching both online, and on foot for the next job. Also still attached to a temp agency and waiting for a call from them.

The not so good news...it means that come September, the deductions from both those jobs will throw us off the system. It is fine as far as paperwork, and "sponging off the taxpayer" (don't forget my husband is one while in school and receiving 2nd career money). The downside is, medical expenses are no longer covered, neither is transportation allowance. My daughter's prescriptions are not cheap and we are going to hope that Trillium benefits cover it. (OW might cover our medical for a month or so, I'll have to check into it and let you know how it goes for us).

I'll also keep you posted as to how much gets deducted when a person on workfare begins to bring home money. When my husband had a temp job a year or so ago...it wasn't enough to boot us off the system. But this is 2 incomes plus his 900 a month income. I think it's going to be sufficient to keep us as we have been living so far.

How we spent our sunday

When the sun stays out to play and the birds are happily chirping and flying around, the festivals come to town. We seem to get so many festivals that there is always something going on somewhere.

Just this weekend pass my husband and I had the opportunity to go to the Home and County Folk Festival. We didn't go for long but we did have a fun time looking around and listening to a few different groups.

It was a bit muggy outside so it made for a challenge, but I did notice something amazing....no smoke. Not a puff not a whiff just pure, clean air. It was a relief not to have to fight the humidity and tobacco too.

Thought I'd share a few pictures of the spouse having fun on "birthday weekend".

      This is the bus ride down. He's looking at me like that because I snapped a fast shot of him. LOL

  We sat for a few minutes in the park and listened to an interesting Celtic sort of group. They had an interesting take on some different songs. Sorry I'm not sure of group names because well....we didn't look for the information and didn't have a book to tell us :).

 Favorite pick of the day for "different". Someone had brought a "petting zoo" to the festival. It was a GREAT idea and I hope the do it again. Off to the left side there were guitars and drums etc. While in the tent.....

   there were some other interesting instruments to try out. Most of the rest of the festival was vendors selling everything from Cold Pressed Olive Oil (delicious, but not in our budget at the moment), to soaps and dresses and linens. There were the usual Henna artists there as well.

It was an enjoyable day and I'm glad my hubby and I got to spend it together. Won't be long before it's "back to school" and nights filled with homework.

You know there are problems when...

When the UN sends someone to check on the condition of those who are poor in your country, and he has nothing but negative reports to give...you know it's time to make a change

.http://www.thestar.com/news/canada/2013/03/04/un_food_envoy_olivier_de_schutter_says_canada_starves_many_of_its_citizens_porter.html

I just wonder when the day for change will come. There are actually some people who feel awful at the way things are turning out for those with less money. Of course there are a few who aren't too sure of the rules either.

Both spouses on welfare have to share the same check, that goes double for any adult children on the system. ALSO anyone who gets child tax like me will get some money. In my case it seems like a lot, but I also don't get any money for that one child from welfare AT ALL.

Where do they expect me to get the school supplies, shoes, books, paper and pens/pencils etc from? End of the school year I wanted to help my youngest to get his certification for both First Aid and a Lifeguarding course (Bronze Medallion I think), but I couldn't afford to pay for it. He has the training and none of the papers to prove it.

That could have been a job for him, but without the proof it is useless. It frustrates me that I can't pay for anything he might need because he's also a "non contributing member". Yes IF he finds work he can pay for his own clothes etc, they don't deduct money from my check as long as my kid is in school. BUT he has to get that job first.

It saps your strength to go hungry, and it saps your strength of spirit to always ask for help. Maybe that is why I can't bring myself to ask for something as simple as a ride from people....I'm so used to asking for something that I want to have at least ONE thing I can have someone offer.

This sapping of spirit floods into your private life as well and makes it hard for you to relate to other people. How do you say "I can't (Fill in blank). There is no money for that.". It's embarrassing to have to say these things. It's almost like admitting you have failed.

The public in general doesn't have to shame those who are poor, we can feel embarrassed plenty on our own. I just can't wait for the day that my husband graduates and "hopefully" finds a position in that trade. Then perhaps I can have my earth ship in the countryside, and help others who are just like we are right now.

Some good news

My husband talked to someone in our caseworker's department. (our caseworker is absent today). He managed to get some emergency bus tickets which I will use tomorrow. She also suggested trying for a "medical buspass" hopefully I'll be able to qualify with a doctor's note and get out of the heat more often.

It was too bad he didn't get the tickets while it was cooler out but if I left here now I'd have to be medicated and wouldn't breathe very well. Tomorrow I'm getting up early and running away to the library where cool air prevails.

It is currently 44 C or 111 F outside and about ten degrees colder in my house. I have a "permanent pool" set up in my bathroom LOL. Just trying to stay cool. Might study for a bit and then have a nap to keep from exerting in the hot.

My advice to others on OW/ODSP is to ask your worker for some tickets to get OUT of the heat while the weather is this bad. Ask, and if your worker won't give you an answer or if you want to try again, try talking to their manager and see if the answer changes. It may be all you can do to escape the dreaded muggy monster.

Just when you thought it was great to be hot....it really is not.

Feeling a bit sleepy right now, and slightly out of breath ...but I thought I'd write this post up before I contemplate a little nap.

It is HOT in this apartment right now. Of course it doesn't help that there is hot and humid conditions outside, that is true enough but the fact that our apartment is on the North West corner of the building means that we get more sun from about 2pm to sunset, which helps to heat the apartment up even further.

I have a thermometer in the bedroom, it is reading at around about 30C. (86F) and that is with the methods we have utilized in an attempt to keep our home cooler. Every summer we put up window sun blockers. What they are is simply white foamboard with tinfoil (shiny side out) and black bristol board on the inside. What it does is keep the rooms darker and hopefully the temperature down by reflecting the sun back outside. It does work...after a fashion. We tried before without it and were left feeling as hot as the outside or hotter once the sun started to shine through our windows. But it still isn't a drastic improvement.

We still feel the humidity, it seems to seep right in and it causes headaches and for me with my asthma...some degree of discomfort as well as requiring me to slow down my daily activity. That isn't too great for trying to exercise now is it?

I'm almost tempted to reverse my night and day while the weather holds this way, so that I can sleep through the entire day, problem is...life is set to daytime up and nighttime down so it doesn't work out so well.

The reason I decided to write about this was because when the weather heats up, the poor are the ones caught in it. Where I live hydro costs MORE during the hottest part of the day. I get why that is...it is an effort to conserve electricity and was meant to curb "over use of air conditioners while you are not in the home". Problem is, the only ones who are paying for it, are those who can't afford to PAY for the hydro.

We are talking here about the elderly, those on welfare and those on disability. Yeah I know what you are thinking...go to a "cooling center". Well that would work, if these three groups could in fact AFFORD the bus fare. Problem is...only one group gets busfare consistently...Ontario Works. You only get bus fare with OW IF you are an active participant (read here, engaged in job search). If you are on a disability deferral, you can't get busfare unless you have a good reason for needing it. If you need to go to a doctor, you have to get the doctor to sign a letter saying that you need to go regularly and require bus fare to do so. On ODSP I'm sure its quite similar. You likely have to prove you are regularly attending a doctor to qualify.

So where does that leave the rest of us? In the sweltering heat and very poor air quality trying to get along as best we can. If you are lucky and live near a mall, you can head there on foot and hide there for the day. If like me you are distant from a mall and no cooling centers are nearby...you don't get to go anywhere. 6 cooling centers in our city are open on a sunday....our local libraries are CLOSED on sundays during the period from May to about October? until the students come back and need it. That leaves them out as an option.

We get told that heading to a cooling center is a good idea on this kind of day, but the reality is most of us can't reach them without money, which we are not allowed to have on the current system.

This is a reality for many of the poorest citizens in our cities across Canada and yep, down there in the USA as well.  I guess staying cool and healthy is only for the wealthy :/   NOTE: I would like to remind people that they SHOULD check on their neighbors if they are low income or you know they have medical conditions....in this weather it's the right thing to do.

This is the report for today and the rest of the week for my City courtesy of the Weather Network.

All this from just ONE article

 I clicked on a link from OCAP today, for those of you who don't know OCAP stands for Ontario Coalition Against Poverty. This is a group made up from people who actually CARE about other people. The article was about the possibility of merging Ontario Works with Ontario Disability Support Program. As a recipient of OW who has tried to get on ODSP, I can honestly say, I have no idea how this merger would work. I mean does that mean that those on OW get to make decisions about ODSP, or does it mean that eventually all people on ODSP will be working...no matter if they are able to or not.

I fear for those who are like my family, struggling to get by and it makes me saddened and sickened that these people....my fellow human beings had this much to say in the comments section.


Along with the free money, they get free dental, free glasses, free meds. Not a bad deal from where I am sitting as a part-time worker that gets noting for free and taxed highly because I am single...the government forgets I have thousands of children in Hamilton I help support..it is called my tax dollars to those on welfare.






REPLY: What free money? You mean the money that we have to report our income every month and have deductions taken from? Your tax dollars, you mean the ones like my husband has paid while taking temp jobs that didn't give him enough earnings to break free of this damn trap? Free glasses....yeah from the two stores they give you a choice between, every two years. The frames are the ones that either don't sell or are so hideous or don't fit your face that you look awful. (remember appearances are important when it comes to job interviews). Free meds? Not always and not all of them. I get that part time work is not nearly as good as a full time job would be, complain to the politicians about that, about the fact that most jobs today are part time and / or handled by temp agencies where the only value you have is that you don't cost them extra. As for the children you help feed with your tax money....you mean to tell me you are such a miser you can't afford to help a few kids? I'm surprised that as a part time employee you aren't having more of a struggle though, since it isn't nearly enough to pay rent and buy food. You make about the same amount of money we'd make in a month...perhaps less. Perhaps you should apply for welfare to top your amounts off, or are you too proud to ask for help.

 They have spoken to 118 groups who have a vested interest and 80% don't like whats in the report. Have they spoken to the group that is expected to PAY FOR IT and discovered what they think??? Didn't think so.

Fascinating, you aren't the only ones paying for it. So are those on welfare who work but don't earn enough to break free.
 Why do we bring in workers from other countries to work the farms? Oh ya, free money with no questions asked for those that inhabit the sidewalks downtown. 'I don't like that kind of work'..... As for the $600 figure quoted, please add in all the freebies they get ON TOP of that amount.

This one might take a few minutes to think about. Oh yeah...bringing in cheap immigrant labor is something that is done in a lot of places. They don't want to have to pay those "people on the street" minimum wage, so they bring in people they can pay HALF that amount to. I've never  yet to date heard of a job on a farm doing anything that has been OFFERED to me. NOT ONCE.  It isn't about "I don't like that kind of work." You don't know those people, you never even talked to any of them I'm sure. You probably just stuck your nose in the air and walked on by. As for all the freebies on top of that amount. That is the money for a DISABLED ADULT on ODSP that was quoted. Those folks are no more lazy than those on welfare, and they might actually have a problem that prohibits them from working. As for the "extras" . The only extra they get is a "wee bit better" dental plan and thats all. The same drug plan as welfare, the same vision care. Instead of 2 fillings every six months they get cleanings every 6 months. Wow sign me up right away for all those freebies.
 I agree $600 a month isn't much... but it is STILL my tax dollars and I see NO REASON an able bodied person should be allowed to sit on their butt and collect free money. In many cases it IS a choice as well as the choice to have more children to increase the benefit. I believe everyone who is on OW should have to put in 8 hours, 5 days a week, even if it is sitting in a conference room looking at the walls. Income is an exchange of time for money. It is what the majority of us do. We go to our jobs and get paid. If we don't put in the hours we don't get paid. PERIOD. Those on OW should be no different.







This one's gonna be fun. You agree 600 isn't much...well that is pretty much the SUM and TOTAL amount that ODSP folks get. OW gets less. "Still my tax dollars and I see no reason an able bodied person should be allowed to sit on their butt and collect free money". REALLY?? The person said that the amount was for an ODSP (DISABILITY) claimant for a month. Umm abled bodied...nope. Sit on butt...perhaps, that would depend on if they  have a mobility issue wouldn't it? A choice to be on ODSP? Not likely. A choice to be on OW, nope. Having more kids to increase the benefit?? In my whole life of knowing people on welfare I've only known ONE person out of over 40-50 people on it, to do that. ONE person in 50 (AT LEAST).  Sitting in conference room staring at walls. SO you'd like to put us in the corner like naughty kids? Umm we already have to do a full time job search. Full time hours like a person who IS working. How exactly should a welfare person LOOK for work if they are staring at walls? We have to do what we have SIGNED AN AGREEMENT to do. If we fail...we...as you so aptly put it....DON'T get paid.

Here`s the problem. $8.3 billion dollars. Social work has become a lucrative career choice for many, compliments of tax payer`s and the lazy, uninspired, unmotivated, "are the cheques going to be out today," bums, with no ambition. Here`s the solution. Hold a recipient`s cheque back a few days and witness inspiration, motivation, determination and ambition magically appear. Then tell them about the one year limit to collect. It`s almost criminal seeing an able bodied person hanging out on their porch month to month counting done the days. 16 more to go. At least most goes right back to local merchants.


 Hmm I can "almost" agree with you. Since I have dealt with some workers who don't seem to have much experience in dealing with people living under stressful conditions in circumstances of in some cases DEEP poverty. Lazy? Uninspired? Unmotivated? How about we change that to depressed, emotionally and PHYSICALLY depleted by lack of adequate nutrition and relief from the stress of knowing that if they screw up down at the office YOU don't get PAID. "are the checks going to be out today?" bums? We already know the time when they go out...usually its done by direct deposit. Bums with no ambition? Hmm let me think my oldest child bum wants to go into floristry or into greenhouse work. The need to ask for 100 bucks for the APPLICATION fee put her behind by a couple of months and she is now on a "wait list" for college.  My second oldest BUM would like to have a job someday saving people LIKE YOU. He'd like to get into the military and join SARTECH. BUT...a problem with overexertion a couple of summers ago means that he has to wait till December to apply again. Meanwhile, he has a job he's starting tomorrow. It is a job created by a program so it might last only 6 months but at least he has a chance. My youngest BUM is 17 and desperately wants to find work but...there isn't much for teens, and he tried to apply for one job but was told that he would have to wait on a list, because he LIVES IN THE WRONG AREA OF TOWN. My husband is seeking work while waiting to return to school for the 2nd half of SECOND CAREER to start. (don't get me started on that damn program). It is only marginally better than having to go from temp job to temp job because our city has NOTHING to do for work. NOTHING.  I am disabled (yes I have a doctor's note mommy). I DON'T have a porch...I have a small apartment, that is quickly losing pace with the amount of rent money we are given to pay for it. We are already digging into our food budget...it will eventually get worse. But perhaps you will have your happiness when we are all finally OUT ON THE STREET because our city hasn't got anything cheaper. Not much goes back to the local merchants from us...we don't have much to spend.

 OW (welfare) was initially meant to be temporary financial assistance but now seems to mean permanent financial assistance. Too many on OW have turned it into an income and make no effort for it to be a temporary form of assistance. OW needs to be reformed to ensure those receiving it are making serious attempts at working as those receiving unemployment insurance are required to do. At least those receiving EI benefits have paid into it, those on OW are just freeloading.

Yes it was meant to be temporary. It is a shame that so many have had to spend so many years on it because there is in fact NO WORK to be had in some cities. Make no effort? Umm if we DON'T make an effort we WILL be booted off. WE MUST fulfill the contracts we are under or else. EI has less stringent rules (or at least it used to). Yes my husband did draw EI at first when he was LAID OFF thanks to the damn recession. OW freeloaders? You mean like the banks that get free money when they need to be bailed out? Like the businesses that get free money "supposedly" to hire US but DON'T?? They instead use CHEAP OVERSEAS labor? Perhaps your anger would be best serviced by getting pissed off at those who truly are WELFARE BUMS.

 ODSP = Ontario Disability Support Program... OW = A Program to address "Temporary Financial Need" There is no reason to integrate these into one program. They are completely different programs designed to meet completely different needs. What needs to happen is to address OW abuse. Set a firm time limit on accessability instead of being open ended. STOP the abuse.

Firm time limit for OW eh? Okay let me hear how much time you think we should need. A year? 6 months? What if there is no work in your city? Too bad go live in a stupid cardboard box just so you can feel like you aren't being used?? What abuse? The only abuse I have seen is by those who have jobs against those who are LOOKING. That is the abuse I see. The comments about being lazy bums, the comments about not working, the comments about LIMITING money so that you can send CHILDREN packing onto the streets so you can get angry because those "damn bums" are now littering your corners asking for money. So that you can say "isn't there a place you can put those damn bums" so I don't have to look at them? C'mon there must be a PRISON or a WORKHOUSE somewhere that needs them. 

I cut paste these comments as they were MADE I did no alteration to their content.  http://www.thespec.com/news-story/3891191-mcmeekin-says-welfare-report-getting-push-back/  The fact that HUMAN beings are saying such things gives me such a feeling of utter sorrow that I can hardly believe what I am seeing. Do you think that SHAMING people gets them to work faster?? Do you think that hurling insults and making derogatory statements about them makes you stand taller? When does the bullying come to an END???? At what point do we say ENOUGH abuse stop bitching and start helping.  At what point do we treat ALL humans like they are people, worthy enough of dignity and respect?

At what point do we see that the system is broken, but not in the way the taxpayer thinks. This system is broken because people starve on it. People go to bed in boxes because there are no more rooms at the local hostel.

I guess it's okay to say such terrible things if you haven't had to live it. I just hope you never have to find out just how awful things can truly be.
 

An update

Well I checked the email today and the person who said the terrible remarks about those on welfare changed his mind (if you can call it that), he apologized and said he didn't mean all are lazy but that a lot can work but just chose not to. Said maybe 50% were legitimate, and well the rest of us could either work part time ( I suppose that would be those who are disabled. Or don't wish to or who are dead beat dads trying to avoid paying support. He did confirm for me though, that there are legitimate people who he is not bashing.

It's too bad that this person DID in fact state that a certain lady running for mayor would mean " more people on social assistance, more low cost housing for lazy people and a whole lot of free handouts". I think I missed the part where he said that it was only those "not so legitimate" people he was talking about.

I've said this before and I guess I can't say it enough...I don't think anyone is truly lazy. IF and I say IF there are people who are lazy it is likely 1/50 people who are like that. There are so many various reasons why people are unable or unwilling to find work that it would take more than one blog to discuss them all. Perhaps I can restate a partial list....

mental illness (also a great reason why someone "might" be a drug/alcohol user)
physical illness (most of the time caused by lack of good diet)
loss of self-esteem after having been let go due to downsizing etc
lack of opportunities available in your field of expertise
turnaround due to holidays in retail stores
too many temporary jobs as opposed to what used to exist (the full time job)
lack of transportation to/from work, employers desire for employee to have a license or car, or simply doesn't want you to rely on a form of transportation that could potentially go on strike and leave you with scrambling to find a way to get out to the middle of nowhere (which is usually where the jobs end up)
child care and lack thereof
lack of energy thanks to our wonderful "not enough money for food diet" and /or "nothing that could truly classify as being really good for you diet"
the "jumping through hoops" that workers sometimes make you do in order to qualify for said benefits (things like repeating a visit to a doctor once per year for an update of medical condition papers to qualify for special diet which nets you maybe another 30 bucks on the ole check, and my personal favorite (doctor does a permanent sign out of your ability to work and they still need you to confirm that every couple years)
going through special job development programs that are supposed to help you find and keep that job
wandering from place to place putting in your resumes, etc
the blues from not being able to find work as quickly as you would have liked to, or only being able to secure temporary jobs which leave you feeling like a schmuck when their time is up (which sometimes you just don't know in advance)
age (too old too young take your pick you are always TOO something)
too fat, not pretty enough, a transgender in either direction who is in transition, someone without nice enough clothes for an interview, someone with a disability
stress from worrying about food for the family, clothing, whether or not you soon won't be able to afford your home
and last but certainly not least in love...TOO MUCH COMPETITION for one job

So apparently there are so very many reasons why we are stuck in this trap we call welfare. It doesn't feel like this money contributes much to the "well fare" of my family but it is what it is.

I just wish that more people could truly SEE what it means to be on this system. What it means to be under constant stress. What it means to think about how comfortable your life used to be BEFORE you ended up in this leaky boat with broken oars. I wish they could feel how it feels to be insulted, shamed, ridiculed and have awful, despicable and cruel, hateful things said about you constantly just because things are not going as you would have hoped.

I would NEVER wish this type of life on anyone (well okay maybe just on the politicians who set these policies) but not anyone else. It makes me angry to think that a politician pretends to care about you while he looks you in the face and then does other things as soon as the cameras are all gone. It makes me angry to think my fellow HUMAN beings seem to think it is okay to make such terrible comments. It is truly a sad thing to see and I can only hope that people can and will change. Until then...I guess I'll just keep writing about my life and my family's life on a system that doesn't seem to care, led by politicians who don't care and backed by taxpayers who believe everything they are told by these politicians instead of getting to know us.

Just a quick post

Just thought I'd make a quick post to highlight my other blog about the Fugitive Slave Chapel excavation and conservation currently going on in my city.

http://archaeologychapel.blogspot.ca/

Why oh why do I look at the comments?

I should know better by now. You'd think I'd have learned to avoid these little irritations but I haven't. I can't help myself, I have to read everything when I read a news article...not just the article itself.

We are due for a new Mayor soon, and while most everyone I know of  is relieved at the thought of replacing our current humiliating con artist, some do not prefer the ideas others have come up with for replacing him.

One in particular argued that if a certain person took over, social assistance rolls would go up and there would be more low cost housing for "lazy" people and a whole (he spelled it hole) lot more free handouts. I wanted to reach through my computer screen and slap him silly.

The other part of me, the sane sensible part of me wanted to just accept the fact that this was a jerk who just liked to say awful things just to be heard. He didn't care who he might hurt with his mean spirited, acidic commentary, he just felt the need to have everyone and anyone pay attention to him.

The sad part is...he's not alone. There are many more like him out there, many more mean spirited people who seem to think that living on welfare is some sort of big payday. That we must get too much money and be living a life of luxury and freedom from all employment.

They don't see us having to go to food banks, they don't see us struggling to make ends meet or trying to fight our way out of what feels like a dead-end system. They don't see us at all. They walk through their lives with dark glasses on and turn their heads when they see us.

They either lost or never had human compassion and a desire to give all people dignity and respect as they struggle with situations that for many are far beyond their own control. I guess they figure if they are working we should all be working without thinking about the logic of their own arguments.

There are more people in need of work than there are jobs available to be had. There is no room for love in the hearts and minds of these selfish individuals. They could care less that without welfare more people would be sleeping on the street and eating once a day if they are lucky. They don't seem to care that without affordable housing, more people including WORKING people would be unable to afford a place to live and be forced out on the streets.

For those of you who have no room in your hearts for others think about it...CHILDREN on the street, men and women with no where to go because you are too cheap to open your wallet. Someday, given the way the economy is going YOU might be in my family's shoes....YOU will be the one needing a cheaper place to live, YOU will need me to help you with some money until you get back on your feet, and you might need me to pay taxes so that YOU can get your teeth cleaned and see a doctor when you are sick.

Perhaps when it's YOUR turn, you won't be so quick to judge my family and those like us who are right now struggling to put the pieces of our lives back together again. So just shut up, listen to the voices of those around you and maybe you might just learn something.

Oh what a day.

It all started with a bag of chips. My son was working for a while and he bought some with his money. That was fine and okay but then I wanted to have some of my own, since I didn't ask and since he shared his with his siblings. The problem was I said something to my spouse about wanting to get some, but it was late at night and so there was no way he could get anything. So I figured he'd just figure it out in the morning, but he opted not to go out. So I got a bit upset about it and thought to myself  FINE I'll just go get some myself. Then it hit me....

No I won't. We don't like spending a fortune at the corner store for stuff we can get at a grocery store for less than half the cost. I can't GO to the grocery store because I have a limited amount of bus tickets a month. I have a limited amount of tickets because I am unable to look for work (deferral for disability) and so I don't get to have a buspass, and they don't have to give me bus tickets. Also...since I don't know HOW much we have available to spend in a month, I couldn't go anyway. I wouldn't be able to buy anything even if I took money from what my son gave me as his "portion of the earnings" that will come off our check for his employment income.

I couldn't decide about a simple snack. I was powerless.

That got me to thinking about how I am generally stuck in my house. We don't have a pet, and it used to be when I was all alone before I had a pet to keep me company. But ours died and we can't afford another one.

So then I thought...what am I supposed to do? The computer and the internet are not enough companionship for me. I don't get to talk to many people there, my friends all "have a life". yeah okay so I started to feel sorry for myself. But then again I was also angry because I thought what did I do so wrong that I am forced to stay in my home? Why can't I get out and have something to do.  Why can't I just have a stupid "bad for me" snack if I want to have one. I've been good about it for months now.

It really got to me. In a profound way I have absolutely no control over anything. I suck at the budget so I let him handle that, and I have no money of my own, and no way to go anywhere without counting my tickets and budgeting them out to ensure I have enough to get to the important things each month.

So while I didn't intend to...I did get rather frustrated, and I did get upset at my spouse because I have to depend on him for anything I want, and I didn't want to really ask him to go out "just for me", I wanted there to be something else we had to have first. I wanted him to say don't worry about it, because we didn't have the money anyway, but I didn't hear anything and it made me feel like he wasn't even listening.

I don't want to ask for permission to buy a snack.
I don't want to ask for permission to leave my house because we don't have enough money for me to take the bus whenever I want to go out.
I want to have some say in what I do.
I want to have some money of my own.
I don't want to be alone all the time.
I want to feel like I have some control over my life.

I was being a bit silly/selfish today...but I guess I really did just feel like I am trapped in a box.

A question of election

Our City has a spot opening soon in the representation for Minister of Provincial Parliament and I decided that I would email the Green Party, Liberal Party, Conservative Party and NDP Party to see what their take on my family's life would be.

I want to know what their thoughts are about how people on Welfare and Disability are to survive on the pathetic amount of money given. I want to know if they think that what has been done to us over the years is an acceptable thing to do or not. After all in our system of government, this person will likely give more power to that party in our Government, so I want to be sure that what I choose and what my 3 other ADULTS of voting age choose....will be the right decision to make for all of us.

By all of us I don't just mean my own family but my family of poor and supposedly "undeserving" people who are told daily by those around us and those in political power that we are "lazy", "bums", that we take drugs or drink too much. That we LEECH off the system. That we LIKE being unemployed and drawing money from the rest of the taxpayers.

Politicians are the reason we are having to put our groceries where our rent is. Politicians are the reason why my husband's income comes of DOLLAR FOR DOLLAR even though it is taxed like REGULAR income. Politicians are the reason that every dollar we earn from a job comes off at 50%. Politicians are the reason I sometimes can't sleep at night because I know that my kids go to bed hungry, have to visit organizations to get extra meals, and why we have to get vouchers to get shoes and clothing. Why we have to budget our electricity like MISERS, why I have to take food money to pay for bus tickets. The list goes on.

So I guess I finally decided it was time to ask them the same question. I expect to get back the same "form letter" answer, but I'm going to give it a try. I'll let you know how it works out.

We moved....without moving

Thought I'd take a few minutes to procrastinate (I call it thinking) from my Archeology course to talk about my holiday weekend.

We decided that my daughter needed a room of her own and to that end moved two bedrooms around. My middle born son opted to take the living room as his own and so while he was away for the weekend we began.

Let me just say this, I NEVER want to do that again. I couldn't believe how much trouble one "simple little move" could be. I figured no problem simply move a piece of furniture out, vacuum floor, move another piece into it's place and so on. I forgot to anticipate the "stuff" that accumulates in a bedroom when you aren't looking. The clothes, games, the figurines and stuffed toys and books. The laundry that almost got mixed in with the clean stuff.

Oh and trying to separate two different people who were sharing a room was a terror. My daughter opted for the expedience of grabbing a bin and shoving everything off a shelf into the bin.....literally. The bin was then moved out the door and down to the dining room.

We might be poor but we certainly did accumulate a lot of clutter. In the end to give my son some sense of "my room" in the living room, I moved all my craft and art supplies and even my bookshelves into my bedroom. There is still a shelf out there, but it is all books related to that particular area of the building LOL. I have all my fiction books and so forth here now. I even dropped the old futon mattress onto my floor to use as a comfortable way to do my work during the day.

Picture hanging fell to my spouse. It isn't his favorite job, but he does it anyway. The worst part of this is, when he and I traded sides of the bed, he re-hung the wall shelves, then a week later I said "hey lets change rooms" poor guy looked so unhappy.  I'm happy to report though that he did in fact move all the pictures around and now everything looks great. It feels less cluttered than it did in my other room in spite of all the 'extras" around. (yep those are puzzles on the walls)